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Wednesday, December 22, 2010

All I want for Christmas...I think

I admit it. I am the hardest person I know to shop for at holiday time. Well, any time, actually.

I know this because even I have a hard time shopping for me. When I first met my husband, he called my condition "retail bulimia". I would purchase things, let's say a $400 pair of Frye boots, change my mind or have a strong case of buyer's remorse and return them the next day.

I prefer to call it a shopping "catch and release" program.

One year- let's say it was the day before Christmas to add drama to the story- I told Mama, "Next year I want diamond earrings." And since I am her (secret) favorite daughter and she wanted to shout it to the world, she high-tailed it to the mall and found me a pair to stuff in my stocking for the next morning.

I opened them Christmas morning with much delight only to discover that I am extremely allergic to white gold. With puffy red earlobes, I returned them to the jewelry store and I can't even tell you what I got to replace the earrings I just knew would become a family heirloom.

Fickle, Flaky, Flighty...do any of these words ring a bell?

My Tall-Cool-Drink-of-Water husband, Michael-bless his heart-has learned to wait five minutes when I give him hints. Or to understand when I return that coat/pair of boots/necklace that I had to have.

I think he is catching on since I haven't owned a winter coat since he has known me because they are always too tight across my linebacker shoulders and my calves are usually too big for most knee boots and although I love the idea of jewelry, I never even wear my wedding ring because it makes my finger feel claustrophobic.

Yes, its exhausting being married to me. Imagine how exhausting it is being me.

This year, though, is different. I found THE gift to top all gifts. They are so me, so quintessentially Brandy, and I feel sure they are going to change my life.

They are turquoise Pale Aqua Cowboy Boots!!!!!!

I know! Are you jumping up and down, too??!!??

I am known for my love of all things turquoise. Wait. Scratch that...Pale Aqua. I looooovvvve Pale Aqua. There is something so soothing, yet happy about that color. Imagine walking around with Pale Aqua on your feet all day long!

Well, after subtly hinting to Mama and Daddy both with an email four whole days before Christmas, I thought I might just get the Pale Aqua Cowboy Boots that were going to be my signature wardrobe piece.

This morning, my sister Jenny and I packed up all the boys for some Tyler-Christmas-Traffic fun and we went to Cavender's (I am officially a hillbilly) and I went to try the Pale Aqua life-changers on for her.

I even wore my skinny jeans to prove just how versatile they would be since I could wear them under boot-cut jeans and over skinny jeans. I know, I know, I am a fashion genius.

They were gone. They. Weren't. There...I looked everywhere. I looked through all the size tens. I looked in the size nines, just to be sure. I even opened boxes that were marked Black, Cognac and Red. No Turquoise boots. (that's what they call them but really they are just a scoach turquoise and really should be called Happy, Vibrant, Pale Aqua. That is a color. Because I said it is.)

So I stood lamenting over the fact that Christmas is officially ruined when Jenny says, "Hi Mama!"

Here comes Mama...that little black-haired angel...to buy the perfect Christmas present. To finally say to the world I really am her favorite. And they were gone. Surely she and Jenny staged this whole thing and Mama had already purchased them and they were safely hidden in the back of her car. Somehow though, by the look on her face when she saw me, I doubted it.

Just to be sure I ask the salesgirl if there were any in the back.

"No, Darlin', we sold the last size ten last night at 9 o'clock" Ugh. Everyone I know was either watching "Elf" at our house or home asleep at 9 o'clock.


Unless Michael had his mom go pick them up for me and when she told me she was exhausted and not going to come watch "Elf" at our house she was lying because really she was in Tyler picking up the boots for him to give to me because he is the best husband in all of Cherokee County...hell, I'll say it...in all the world!

That has to be it! And Christmas morning, I will prance around in my Happy, Vibrant, Pale Aqua Cowboy Boots that will make me just that much sassier...and nicer...and thinner...and Christmas will have been saved!!!!

Unless they pinch my toes. Then I will just have to take them back.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

I can't wait on perfection

Here it is...finally...I've been thinking for a while now that I should have a blog, write a blog, be a blogger ...and I have been waiting until the perfect moment...when I had something to say...when I had a cute-looking blog...when I had the perfect name...but after spending weeks trying to think of the perfect name and several hours this morning trying to create a template that was so "me"...I decided I would never write anything or do anything for that matter if I waited for perfect...

So here is my first post...yay me!

I'm Brandy...I live in my hometown in East Texas after living in Dallas for 12 years...I moved back to to my hometown after meeting my husband at a wedding (more on the Tall, Cool Drink of Water later)...after a whirlwind romance that involved long-distance weeks and make-out-filled weekends, we were married in July of 2008 and now here we are...in the middle of life...sometimes its hard but I wouldn't take this journey with anyone else...

In May, I gave birth to our precious baby Gus who is now almost eight months old...You will get to know him really well, I am sure...he is my every day, my little funny guy...I am beyond blessed that God gave him to me...

I am a stay-at-home mama with something to say and no one to listen that can answer me in intelligible words...

This blog will be about lots of things...I would love to say it will fit into a niche...but it won't because, frankly, I don't fit in to a niche.

I might talk about decorating ideas one day and our impending homelessness situation the next...I may amuse you with my latest trip to Wal-mart and then turn around and ask you why I insist on wearing black when I know good and well that it shows spit up, snot and God knows what else comes out of Gus' orifices...

I want to share with you my family's attempt at learning to live below our means and downsizing...I truly want to simplify but I have to be honest, I love me some cute Target clothes...and don't even get me started on Marshalls!

I am known for having really good ideas but no follow-through...so if this is the last post you ever see from me, it won't be a surprise but I am really gonna try to stick with it for my own sanity...I am also gonna try to quit using ellipses so much but I'm not making any promises...

And as for the name The Imaginary Mouse?

Her name is Tressa. She is light gray, with the sweetest pink ears. She wears a pale aqua-colored shift dress and I've known her for as long as I can remember. I'll tell you more about the adventures we had when I was a little girl later. But for now, I have to go celebrate my very first post with a Diet Coke and a Ranger Cookie. What's a Ranger Cookie? Maybe I'll post the recipe someday...because now I have a blog.